From falling in love with Thanksgiving turkeys to passionate affairs with…the coronavirus, if you can imagine it, some indie author has probably written about it. And, yes, some of them have even been brave enough to self-publish these fantasy romance books on Amazon. Don’t ask me how I stumbled upon these bizarre and somewhat disturbing stories—just pray the nightmares stop eventually.

Here’s a look at 10 of the wackiest, most unhinged fantasy romance books on Amazon that you won’t believe actually exist. And honestly? Maybe they shouldn’t. Proceed with caution—these deranged plots might live rent-free in your mind forever!

1. Stuffed by the Were-Turkey

In Tate McKirk’s 13-page story Stuffed by the Were-Turkey, an animal rights activist rescues a turkey on Thanksgiving, only to realize there might be something more to this strange bird than meets the beady little eyes… I haven’t read this book yet, but TikTok is going crazy about some kind of steamy turkey-man affair going on. What in the world!? I’m equal parts intrigued and horrified.

As the plot description says: Hold on to your cranberries, and watch out for spilled gravy! Would you read Stuffed by the Were-Turkey? I’m honestly tempted to read it on a rainy day for some laughs. Thankfully this one only exists on Kindle. Could you imagine reading this book in public? I will say, it would make a pretty epic white elephant gift.

2. Kissing the Coronavirus

She was supposed to cure the Coronavirus.
Instead… she fell in love with it.

In the M.J. Edwards book Kissing the Coronavirus, a team of scientists is tasked with finding the cure to the devastating Coronavirus. Little does one (questionably sane?) doctor know she would end up falling in love with it.

Kissing the Coronavirus is a steamy tale about forbidden love and dark desires come to life. And good news: it comes in print AND it’s part of a whole series! So now you have something funny to send to your ex’s house.

I could imagine this being an episode of The Office. Creed would secretly write weird erotica stories like online. Oscar would be a huge fan and host a bookclub with Kelly and Meredith. Jim would see it all play out and laugh about it with Pam. Dwight would tell us his weird erotica book ideas. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Gallactica.

Do you think it’d make a good episode?

3. Mating with Mallows

I bet you’ll never look at peeps the same again after reading Mating with Mallows. Also, ‘Nora Noodle’ has to be the most obvious pen name I’ve ever heard, but I get it, girl. Could you imagine finding out your serious boss secretly penned ‘erotic sentient candy romances’ by candle light?

Mating with Mallows is one of these rare erotica books to actually have pretty positive ratings. 3.3 stars out of over 1,200 reviews is not bad compared to the vast majority. In this 21-page story, a peep-hating woman has a chance encounter with a ‘sentient marshmallow rabbit hunk’. Will he change her mind about this aversion forever?

That sounds like a… sticky situation. Especially because it takes place in her workplace! All her colleagues make fun of her for hating peeps. Totally justified, but ok. Reviewers say it’s a funny and lighthearted holiday smut read. But honestly, who is seriously asking for ‘Easter smut’ books? Nightmare incoming…

4. Unhinged

I feel like the well-named title says it all, but if you need someone to spell the horror out for you, Unhinged is an ‘erotic door romance’. Oh boy, the puns are already racing through my mind! Unhinged is another surprising Amazon erotica book to have good ratings. 3.6 stars and almost 7,000 reviews! I might have to check this one out. Here’s the plot description:

Someone’s been watching Tana closely, but he’s a lot closer than she realizes. From intimate moments to lazy afternoons on the couch, he’s secretly seen it all – and fallen for her along the way. The problem is that someone else is watching too, and his obsession with Tana is a lot more dangerous.

When a man claiming to be her front door enters her dreams to warn her about an imminent threat to her life, Tana initially chalks it up to her weird late-night snacks. But she rethinks things when her earnest visitor insists he’s also ready to protect her – in exchange for one hell of a favor.

When Tana trades her best line of defense for an unlikely supernatural ally, the threat lurking beyond her apartment hallway starts getting desperate as the law closes in. Can her inhuman companion save her from the worst of humanity, or is it too late for both of them?

Would you read Unhinged? I’ll save this 71-page book for when I need some laughs. When opportunity knocks…

5. Seduced by the Pumpkin Spice Latte

Imagine silently sliding this baby slowly across the counter to your barista at Starbucks with the most intense eye contact ever. One PSL, please. Heavy on the spice.

Ok, imagining what’s in this book might be giving me an erotica author awakening no one asked for. Call the police! If this cover doesn’t scare you, I don’t know what will. Seduced by the Pumpkin Spice Latte is 13-page story about a woman falling for her favorite fall drink. It has 2.5 stars and 500 reviews on Amazon. Here’s the description:

Melissa is SO ready for her first Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season. But what she discovers when she takes her first sip is that she is into PSLs on a level she NEVER expected. Join her on her voyage of sexual discovery with a few Pumpkin Spice Lattes, a couple hot baristas, and a whole lot of sensual fun.

Someone get an arrest warrant out for “Evelyn Cloves” before she ruins any of my other favorite seasonal drinks. Peppermint mochas are off limits!

6. Forked

Would you believe me if I said I’ve read not one, but all four of Ruth Cardello’s lighthearted utensil romance books?

It’s true! I reached out to the author after seeing a viral video about her book Forked and she sent me all four books (Forked, Spooned, Knifed and Serviced). These 100-page novellas are super silly and fun with a pretty bizzare premise: Women falling in love with utensils.

But wait—it gets even better. These utensils are actually WWII super soldiers who were trapped in their current forms by a shady government experiment. They’ve been stuck in utensil form for 80 years! The only way to break the curse and turn back into men? Becoming intimate with women. Yes, really!

These books cracked me up and surprised me with the cutlery spice. You have to hand it to the author for the originality. Check out my full spoiler-free book review of Forked on my BookTube channel.

7. Morning Glory Milking Farm

Scoff all you want, but this book isn’t just some obscure internet oddity—it’s the #1 Amazon Best Seller in Science Fiction Erotica! Morning Glory Milking Farm is what’s known as a monster bait romance, meaning the love interest is a literal cow man. Yes, you read that right—a hunky, horned, beefcake in the most literal sense.

This is the first book in the Cambric Creek: Sweet & Steamy Monster Romance series, and with a 4.2-star rating and over 15,000 reviews, it’s clearly got a devoted fanbase. So… maybe we’re onto something here? If you’re curious (or just really want to know where your milk comes from), here’s the wild plot breakdown of Morning Glory Milking Farm.

Violet is a typical, down-on-her-luck millennial: mid-twenties, over-educated and drowning in debt, on the verge of moving into her parents’ basement. When a lifeline appears in the form of a very unconventional job in neighboring Cambric Creek, she has no choice but to grab at it with both hands.

Morning Glory Farm offers full-time hours, full benefits, and generous pay with no experience needed . . . there’s only one catch. The clientele is Grade A certified prime beef, with the manly, meaty endowments to match. Hands-on work with minotaurs isn’t something Violet ever considered as a career option, but she’s determined to turn the opportunity into a reversal of fortune.

When a stern, deep-voiced client begins to specially request her for his sessions at the farm, maintaining her professionalism and keeping him out of her dreams is easier said than done. Violet is resolved to make a dent in her student loans and afford name-brand orange juice, and a one-sided crush on an out-of-her-league minotaur is not a part of her plan—unless her feelings aren’t so one-sided after all.

My eyes are burning, but I am weirdly intriguied… Would you read this bizzare monster fantasy romance book? All those 5-star ratings have to be for something!

8. Stuffed

She thought she’d never be able to find a lover, but he’s been in her bed for years.

Uh-oh—there’s more than just pillow talk happening in this strange fantasy romance! Stuffed is a sentient object romance about a living pillow! This one in particular feels pretty cringeworthy to me, but it does have 3.1 stars on Amazon with over 1,500 reviews—and even a sequel called Double Stuffed (I can’t make this up… omg!).

Anime obsessed Anne might be a fictophiliac, or she might just hate touch so much she’ll never have sex. She doesn’t really care about the difference as long as she has her favorite pillow to grind against when she needs physical relief.

Anne’s favorite pillow is more than just a feather-filled cotton sack–he’s alive but no one knows it. Hot, pulsing magic weaves between his fibers each time she touches him. All he wants is to be the man Anne needs.

Soft. Moldable. And ready to cater to her every desire.

But when he has enough magic to become a man, will Anne accept his eager touch? Can flesh and fabric come together in erotic bliss? Will more than one of them end up fully stuffed?

How would I ever look at my pillow again after reading the Stuffed series?

9. Mating With the Mantis

Please pass the bleach—my eyes need cleansing after seeing this one. Can you imagine being the stock photo model who unknowingly ended up on this cover? New fear unlocked.

Mating With the Mantis by M.J. Edwards (yes, the same author who blessed us in with Kissing the Coronavirus) proves she has an endless supply of disturbingly hilarious ideas. Her author bio also proudly states that she is a ‘ferret keeper’, which somehow tracks. Who is this woman, and how do I become friends with her?

Here’s the plot breakdown: brace yourselves!

Let’s be honest with ourselves: who hasn’t found a praying mantis sexy at some point in their lives?

For dedicated (and horny) insectologist Dr Liberty Penningforthly, it’s a daily occurrence. In fact, her mantis infatuation is so strong, it’s started to interfere with her sex life. Now, Dr Penningforthly can’t reach orgasm unless her partner wears a praying mantis mask. But even that is starting to not work…

So when a new enlargement machine is brought into the lab, suddenly Dr Penningforthly has a stroke of inspiration… What if she enlarged a praying mantis? If she could, then perhaps she’d finally have that incredible orgasm she’d always dreamed of…That is, unless something went horribly wrong (yet horribly sexy).From the author of Kissing the Coronavirus comes a brand new species of sexiness.

Maybe I change my mind about wanting to associate with this author… Mating With the Mantis is 40 pages and has a current 2.7 star-rating with 90 reviews. Would you read this weird bug erotica story?

10. As Fast As You Can: A Holiday Monster Romance

Get out of here, not smut about the freaking gingerbread man! How will I ever be able to eat my favorite Christmas cookies again? Or watch Shrek without…devious thoughts?! As Fast As You Can is a 25-page monster romance that features a terrifying (yet apparently seductive?) six-foot gingerbread man. And believe it or not, it has shockingly good ratings—4.2 stars from 259 reviews on Amazon. The Plot:

This is one of the darker tales in my Twisted Tidings collection. A baker finds herself hunted by her own creation with both horrifying and pleasurable results.

I’m scared but intrigued. And my tastebuds are positively tingling…just kidding! But seriously, do you think a gingerbread monster man be scary and sexy? Spicy is a given, I guess. I’ll definitely be looking into this author’s other evil creations. Would you read As Fast As You Can?

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading my picks for the most unhinged fantasy romance books ever! Amazon is clearly the place to unleash your creative writing on the world, even if maybe some people shouldn’t. I hope your eyes aren’t permanently damaged from reading these book recommendations. Let me know which ones you would read!

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